Why, Oh Why!

‘Why? Why do you love him?’, my dad demanded. I wondered why, because I had no answer. Having been a rebel all through my life (at least in my mind, for I was too meek as a child, too scared to respond, although deep within me I had forever wanted to rebel), I have always had answers popping up in my mind, for any question that was put forth to me. Whether my answers made sense or not, well, that was completely a different matter, and I was content just by framing some answer in my mind. But now, for the first time in my life, I was clueless. I mumbled something, but my dad was not convinced.

‘You cannot go ahead with this relation unless you give me a convincing explanation’.  Wow, I had to come up with some impressive logic now, so that they are not sceptical anymore.

‘Alright, I’ll let you know. Got some work now’, saying so I was about to slip away, when my mom confronted me.

‘Where are you trying to escape to? Answer your dad and leave’. I am doomed, I felt. Bluffing her was rather a Herculean task. But I had to escape now for arguing with her was pointless. ‘Amma, I’ll be back in five minutes’, and I rushed to my room as quick as I could.

Being born and brought up in a traditional Indian family, all this was expected for I chose to marry the person I loved, without waiting for the one my parents were about to find for me. I needed to convince my parents and his parents and get the so called ‘permission’ for marriage. And all these constantly reminded me of the Chetan Bhagat novel, Two States, although it was bit of an overstatement. Well, but that’s not my point here. I never ever thought I would have to stand speechless in front of such a seemingly simple question.

As I sat in my room, I tried to come up with a dramatic answer, but slowly I realised it was not as easy as I had thought. Nevertheless, I was not ready to accept defeat straightaway. Thus, I decided to call my fiance. After all, he was the one responsible for bringing me into this fix. But alas, I didn’t realize that I was in for more trouble. I had successfully added one more person to the list of questioners. ‘I need to hear that. Tell me why do you love me’, he too demanded. I cursed my instincts for having decided to ask him for an answer.

Now the ball is in my court, I felt. I had to find an answer for this all by myself. I pondered and pondered, but to no avail. I just knew that I loved him and that we were meant to be together. It was then that it struck me. Why is it necessary that all questions need to be answered. Why not accept things for what it is, rather than asking for logical explanations. Isn’t it much more beautiful that way. Yes, all this made some sense now, I guess.

Yet again, the very thought of my parents waiting downstairs for my answer, started nagging me. What do I tell them, oh God! But wait, didn’t Paulo Coelho say something in ‘The Alchemist’. Thankfully my memory didn’t fail me at this crucial moment. Fine, so this will be my answer to everyone who asks me the tricky question.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

How true. 🙂

 

The Vanishing Act

I woke up to a voice, a very familiar one,
Startled was I to hear it again,
Something to me that was long forgotten
Though I knew I longed for it ever.

I tried to remember, as hard as I could,
To place the voice in my memories, that
Was all too muddled and way too blurred
As time had passed, waiting for none.

Was that a friend or foe, I wondered
Or someone beloved who left me, to be
With the stars and angels high up above
And now yearning to be by my side.

I wished I could see, the source of the voice
I wished I could revive my aging memories.
I strained my ears to hear it encore
Twisting and turning my head to all angles.

I felt I caught a glimpse of a movement
That was all too quick and rapid for me.
I stared at the window in futile hope
‘Coz I knew it had already vanished.